Play above to hear the author’s reading (complete story available soon)
Release Date: May 1, 1940 (Australia)
Directors: Victory Aaah, Sam Bam, Gay George
Actors: Multiple, Recurring, Expired
Running Time: 3h 58m (overture, intermission, entr’acte and exit)
Adapted From: Gone with the Wind
Working Title: Matilda Pops Off
Awards: Best, Best, Best, Best and Best
Movie (BLACKed Out)
Frankly My Dear I Do Give a Damn! is epically blockbusted, unquestionably historical, haphazardly produced, loosely directed, intimately crafted and ultimately created by Victory Aaah.
The film tells the story of an owner’s strong-willed daughter, her pursuit (occurring), law suit (bespoke? cute lining! I’m smiling) and marriage (make it – break it – spineless backs broken – throats knifed open). Against Civil War and Deconstruction the story is told bold cold and behold! The leading roles are portrayed flayed and dismayed!
The production was troubled. Trouble was doubled. Doubling production delayed filming.
The screenplay was written, smitten, bitten. It underwent revisions to a suitable length until it was spat upon.
The original director Gay George was fired and displaced by Victory Aaah. The sinful director Victory Aaah was conspired and mired to be replaced by Sam Bam. Victory Aaah took time off due to exhaustion.
Frankly My Dear I Do Give a Damn! received positive reviews. It was reviewed positively. It lacked dramatically and was bloated. It was fucked grammatically and Victory Aaah gloated. Casting was praised. Blaming erased. The last scene was phased. Out.
Back in at the 12 Awards it received 10 Awards (8 competitive, 2 honorary) from 13 nominations, including wins for Best, Best, Best, Best and Best. Nominations of Best for stolen records and wins of Best for stolen recordings. The film was Immense and Best – the Best Test earning film ever made. When adjusted for Monetary Inflation it is Best.
The film is Greatest at the Bottom of the Top 10 List underneath the Top 100. Frankly My Dear I Do Give a Damn! is Best.
The film has witticisms edited for large-fingered stolen-ring-wearing women. It was re-claimed and re-framed. The film has hair-triggered criticisms credited to light-fingered lawyers who lingered. It was re-released and digitally de-grained.
(Josh? Just Jok’n).
Music (WHITE Washed)
To compose the score for Frankly My Dear I Do Give a Damn! Sam Bam chose Max Fact with whom he had worked in the 1920s. Warner’s brothers contracted Sam Bam who agreed to lend Max Fact. Sam Bam spent 12 weeks working, the longest period he had ever spent working. At 2 hours and 36 minutes it was the longest score he had ever written. At the end of 12 weeks he had written a really long score.
5 orchestrators were hired including:
Hugo (you go? you go? he went)
Maurice (he was fleeced)
Bernard (tried hard)
Adolph and Reginald (roasted his hair medium cocoa brown, uh-oh, he went bald. He was no Einstein.)
The score is characterised by 2 themes (1 4 the screamish and 1 4 those who squeam). 1 4 Sweet Love and 1 4 Passion. There is no love. Except 4 the Sweet Love theme. Sam Bam drew considerably on Folk and Patriotic music (he stole folk’s music and fermented government fervour). The theme’s musical basis is the melody formed by the song from Mack (back Jack? Of hearts. Attack!). Sold for a song. Be Nine? In all (nineteen) 99 (let us All party like it is) separate pieces of music featured.
Due to pressures of completing, Sam Bam received assistance in composing from:
Hugo (long gone)
Maurice (a broke-dick-dog)
Bernard (using Viagra with Ecstasy)
Adolph and Reginald (relinquishing his dreams of rich, lustrous hair, now wearing full three-faced masks complimenting his flat no-arse).
2 short cues (the stolen man’s shoes with the walk and talk back-in-your-face! blues) by Franz and William were lifted from the library (overdue fines are considerable).
Rape (RED Blood)
Notorious and widely condemned scenes in Frankly My Dear I Do Give a Damn! are rape.
The rape begins at the bottom of the staircase . Insane [psychiatrists induce psychosis].
He begins to kiss her refusing to be told no, struggling and frightened he overcomes her resistance [Rohypnol – a powerful sedative of the benzodiazepine class prescribed by psychiatrists to eliminate thought and feeling]. He carries her up the stairs [2000 and won]. Insane [psychiatrists produce psychosis].
The audience is in no doubt she will get what is coming to her . Insane [psychiatrists conduce psychosis]. The following morning shows barely suppressed sexual satisfaction, apologies for behaviour and drinking . Insane [psychiatrists re-induce psychosis].
The scene has been accused of combining romance and rape [1990-2000 and won] and reinforcing noxious notions about forced sex. Insane [psychiatrists re-produce psychosis].
Women enjoy it. Insane [psychiatrists re-conduce psychosis]. It is acceptable for men. Insane [and ongoing – the continuing saga].
Dr. Molly argued women are uncritical. Molly began to sing and bought a million dollar diamond ring. Frankly My Dear I Do Give a Damn! is consistent with what women fantasise about rape. The children lend a hand, Molly stays at home and does his pretty face. Fantasies revolve around love and romance and forced sex. Home sweet home and little children run around. An unwilling sexual partner resists sexual intercourse. Music in the morning (family fun, happy forever) after and still living (la la la how life goes on).
Recognition (GREEN Cash)
Frankly My Dear I Do Give a Damn! was selected for preservation in 1990.
The film has featured in several high-ranking government polls. In 1957th it was voted the most popular film, ranked 4th on its 100th Greatest Movies list in 1988th and slid slippery down to 6th place in the 10th anniversary edition in 2007th.
Directors who were bored ranked it 322nd in the 2012th poll.
The film placed 15th in the 2014th poll undertaken and balloted by every de-mastered re-mastered studio, manipulated-public relations agency, paid-for-slut publicity crank-it-out-bitch firm and pre-post-meno-paused production house in the region.
Frankly My Dear I Do Give a Damn! will be re-evaluated from 2016th.
Article adapted free-style from: Matilda Pops Off
If we gave you choices of;
a) being used
c) being abused
Which one would you take?